I turned 59 yesterday. I spent the day receiving.
I turned 59 yesterday.
I woke up on my birthday in a new place where we’ll be staying for the next month – San Cristobal de las Cases in Chiapas, Mexico.
As the fresh mountain air filled the room and the rays of the rising sun were coloring the walls in rose and gold hues, I finally confronted the feelings that I couldn’t access during the last few hectic days of travel.
I spent the day receiving.
From this beautiful new place that I’ll call home for a month, from my family and friends, from my peers, colleagues and readers.
What grasped my attention is that many people mentioned how the unvarnished documenting of my journey has helped them make sense of their own life, and how my work in the world has proven to be life changing for them.
This is the blessing that is emerging for me as a result of a life that veered off script over the last 15 years.
I am learning to receive from life in all of its plot twists.
If the life I was conditioned to strive for had not started crumbling in my early 40s, I’d not have built this life of freedom and authentic self-expression that I enjoy now, that I bring in service to others.
Sharing through writing with people who care for me, people I care for, people who enjoy hearing what’s happening in my world and my heart, has brought depth of connection into my life that was impossible when I was contorting myself into pleasing others.
I am connected to you because I have connected to me.
Sharing my process and my way of life in these weekly letters, in my daily posts on social media is a way I hold myself accountable.
This rhythm of self-expression, of sharing keeps me grounded and connected to my purpose.
It helps me be who I say I am.
It’s a commitment which helps me refine my behavior and what I show up for, and how I show up.
Sharing has been important and healing
And now I find myself learning to share in person more, to add to sharing online.
It’s a process that exposes me to deeper layers of truth telling.
To be physically seen is to be seen in my messy and tender humanness.
To be fully seen in my body – not just in a portrait square on zoom – carries its own vulnerability. There is no place to hide.
But I believe in this work of learning to relate authentically, and I have been opening myself up to meeting people again in real life.
These last three months were all about meeting people in person – family, reconnecting with old friends, but also clients.
I had the joy of meeting in person a few people whom I’ve only known online. I faced the familiar impulses to put on a mask, or to hide, or to armor up. And, just like in writing, I insisted on remaining unvarnished, showing up as naturally myself as possible.
At 59 I came to a life-affirming realization: I am safe and I am loved.
And this connecting to my own safety and my own love is all the permission I need to meet others in truth.
And from truth come humor, love, intimacy, collaboration.
This year I was learning to receive.
From life and from people.
And I received plenty.
I received so much.
And with every encounter I saw that I could hide under the protective blanket and not show up.
Or I could show up open and receive plenty.
The choice is always mine.
And the choice is available for you, too.
Will you show up to your life, to your relationships in openness, so that you can receive the blessings they bring?
Come meet me in person for the Safe to Be Me retreat in October!
We’ll come together in our humanness in the most nurturing and stunning setting I’ve seen on my travels, in the country with which I fell in love.
We’ll meet in the flesh, in the skin, with all of our physical quirks and in all of our realness.
We’ll share laughter and witness each other’s tears, we’ll soak up life-giving sun and we’ll play in the shade, we’ll talk and we’ll be silent, we’ll move and we’ll be still – together.
Safe to Be Me in person retreat is a culmination of the last 15 years of my life. You can find all details here.
Spots are limited, as I’d like to keep this group intimate. Please schedule a 30-minute Zoom Call to explore if this is the right space for you.