One year into the new chapter of my life – life is clicking into place.

“If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything, give everything up.”
​~ Lao Tzu

 

These first days of March mark a year into the exhilarating new chapter of my life.

​Exactly a year ago, on February 29, 2024, I closed the doors to a place I used to call home, in a country where we lived for 25 years, where we built our family and raised our children.

I left and shed all that used to feel important and considered valuable.

Everything I strived for as a young woman, everything I was raised to believe as valuable has been turned on its head over the last ten years.

Having given up all of my possessions, I freed myself from the noose around my neck. I breathe so much easier now.

So then, what remains?

What is valuable?

What will I leave my children?

What will I leave the world?

Here are some truths that I am happy to share:

Amassing stuff has nothing to do with happiness.

Being married does not guarantee feeling loved.

Wearing expensive things does not make you worthy.

Chasing fame and riches will not provide feeling wealthy or secure.

What drives us toward external validation, what hides underneath all the longing for achievement, for things and status symbols are inner scarcity, unworthiness, lack of safety, feeling unloved and not enough.

And this external validation is like a drug, and we need continuous new supply of it in order to keep at bay the gaping void within.

Most of us chase from this place – the inner emptiness that needs to be filled.

I know I certainly did.

In the last ten years all the possessions and identities behind which I was hiding the pain and shame of being me were removed.

And underneath all the masks I found huge scarcity and insecurity and deep pain of feeling not enough, not worthy, not deserving, not safe.

And I realized that this is what was eating me up while I was living in a beautiful place, had homes on several continents, was married to a loving loyal partner, had 3 blessings of children, an enviable CV with multiple university diplomas and prestigious job titles.

None of the external accoutrements could alleviate the bottomless sense of inadequacy, not belonging, and the shame of being me.

The un-faced darkness within would gobble up all the blessings, keeping me starved among all the abundance.

Nothing ever felt like enough, because I was unable to connect to the gratitude for all that I had.

So life took some stuff away and threatened to take away others. And I was forced to discern what is truly valuable and what is not:

Possessions are not valuable. Human life is.

Now I’m in the best place of my life.

Once all the masks and identities were ripped off and I went deeply into the shame and the pain that filled me – I became invincible. I became free.

You cannot take anything away from me anymore.

I gave it up voluntarily.

I gave up the fluff that distracted me from what was truly important. I now spend my days in gratitude for the simple life that I have.

Life now just clicks into place and works.

I no longer fear life, nor view the unknown as a threat.

And it’s been a nonstop wonder of amazement and genius.

And I wish you the same.

All it takes is facing what you’ve spent a lifetime running away from.

PS: Most of my work is based on my own lived experience, the wisdom I came to on my journey of death and rebirth.

Even the certificates in somatic healing and sexology that I was awarded in the last five years were less about learning something new, but to acquire the vocabulary to what I already knew from visceral experiencing.

​BE YOUR #1 – A Self-love Intensive is my most recent creation which I see as becoming foundational in my roster of group offers.

In this 4-week online group immersion you will learn the timeless and multi-layered fundamentals and practical steps for facing your Self.

Because you cannot heal your relationships with life and with other sentient beings without healing the relationship with you Self.

We begin on March 20.

Click HERE for detailed information and to join a beautiful group of other like-minded humans that’s been forming in the last few weeks.