fbpx

Your sexuality issues did not start with you.

Sex & Intimacy November 5 2025, Galina Singer

Did you know that from the 17th century to pretty much today, the perceptions and discussions of female sexuality were never solely based on biology or scientific facts?

Nope, they always were and still are intricately intertwined with religion, business, power dynamics, and the vested interests of the pharmaceutical and military industrial complexes.

From 17th to 19th centuries, societal perceptions of sexuality were significantly influenced by the royal families of the time, due to their strategic need for a growing labor and military force. Sexuality became deliberately and systemically regulated through control of pleasure and social and reproductive behaviors.

Within this socio-political framework, masturbation was often viewed as a threat to reproduction and population growth.

I am reading “Demystifying Female Genitalia” by Andrew Barnes and the chapters that summarize the historical angle on societal attitudes toward sexuality got me a bit riled up over the weekend, because I find that not that much has changed!

With all the achievements of our 21st century, we are only now discovering details about female genital anatomy that astonishes the medical community!

(I am referring to 2023 landmark study by Oregon Health and Science University, among many others that continue despite overall resistance.)

AI is already disrupting the way we do life, while we the individuals perpetuate the systemic effort to disconnect us from our bodies, often viewing them as a rogue element that refuses to remain perfect and young.

And yet, when I think of masturbation – regardless of how condemned this has been for centuries – humans always find their way back to the pleasure implicit in our bodies.

Isn’t this normal?

When I think about how a child develops – it discovers its body through natural curiosity. I remember when my few months old children would stare at their hand or foot until they understood it as part of their body. Do you remember how your little ones would put their toys and books into their mouths? This is how humans learn about themselves and the world around them – through sight, touch, smell and taste.

The fact that in our developmental exploration we stumble onto our genitals is completely normal. The fact that some parts of our bodies were shamed by others, made taboo and became forbidden is what’s not normal and creats distortions and disease that haunt families and society for generations.

In the Victorian period (mid-19th century to the start of 20th century), in parts of Europe and the United States, prevailing social attitudes toward sex were marked by strict repression and lack of open discussion.

Women were conditioned to endure sex rather than enjoy it, viewing it as an obligation rather than an act of intimacy.

More than six generations later and I see the consequences of this conditioning in my life and my work daily!

When it comes to open discussion about sex between people who engage in it – it is still largely missing or is excruciatingly uncomfortable when we dare to go there.

Too many women I work with still view sex primarily as a marital duty (just like their great great grandmother was taught all those generations ago.)

There is no surprise that few women display desire when it comes to their marital duties in fulfilling their husband’s sexual needs.

What is surprising is that women still judge themselves and feel guilty when they refuse to have their bodies be used for someone else’s pleasure without their consent.

We are still dealing with the repercussions of education designed to steer sexual behavior to fulfill specific agendas, dictating cultural norms, while they control the development and distribution of sexual health education and resources.

Societal influences shape and often override not only our individual sexual desires, but our intuition and experience of our bodies.

This is what prevents modern couples from intimacy, authentic communication and true connection.

So much of my daily work – with myself first of all, and then sharing with my clients – is focused on reclaiming what is natural, reclaiming our Wholeness.

slowing down to feel pleasure is healing

Wholeness means integration of all parts of ourselves, including our private parts, and reconnecting with our essence that has been severed and suppressed during our developmental years.

Reclaiming intimacy with my own body, rehabilitating touch, questioning my beliefs, becoming my own highest authority and expert is a journey of healing and fulfillment that gives meaning to my life and illuminates my work with others.

This is what it means to be SAFE TO BE ME.

If you are curious how to work with me, please feel free to reach out by responding to this email or see below.

Warmly,

Galina

PS: After 1,5 years of pause, I cannot wait to offer my Safe to Be Me 6-month online program in January of 2026.

The curriculum will reflect the latest information on somatics, unshaming and nervous system regulation. Details coming soon. Anyone interested in participating or receiving details, please express your interest HERE.

PPS: The next Safe to Be Me in person Retreat will be held in the same place in Mexico next October. I am meeting with the hotel tomorrow and will finalize the dates and details in the coming days. If you’d like to receive more information, please express your interest HERE.