Family is the most important thing – right? 👨‍👩‍👧

Unlearning July 10 2023, Galina Singer

For many years I have lived with an undisputed conviction that my family is the most important thing in my life.

It was taught by my mother and confirmed through societal messages all around me.

And yet, my experience of family life has overtime accumulated into a stunning realization that I am profoundly alone. And that my children are not mine.

I forced my way into motherhood.
I wasn’t taking no for an answer.
The inability to get pregnant should have humbled me, taught me to surrender to universal intelligence, to the right timing.
Instead, it just retraumatized me.
I came dangerously close to failing as a woman and I wasn’t going to let that happen.
Not to me.

When I finally became a mother – I lost my mind.

My love was not love, it was hysteria. It was intensity. It was the need to control. It was acute scarcity. It was fear. It was ancestral trauma perpetuated. It was karmic loops toward sacrifice. It was expectations, and with it disappointment and pain.

Somewhere deep inside I knew that I was blessed with a gift.
But I misunderstood the meaning of it.

Only now, 23 years later, I am starting to understand that my children could not make me whole. Could not make me success. Could not give me love or make me feel like I belong.

No one can do that.
It is my job.

Just like it is my daughters’ job now to fill themselves. Find what makes their heart swell with knowing. Heal those family wounds that I faithfully passed on to them. And free themselves from my notions of right and wrong, so they can develop their own values.

As I allow myself time and resources to find and pursue what fills me, I give my daughters permission to do the same.

I no longer vampirize people in my ilfe, using them to fill me, make me feel less alone.
I free them from that impossible task.
I free them to pursue their own joy.
They do not have to maintain mine.

Safe to Be Me is a program that offers a new paradigm of relating and will change the way you look at and experience love, safety, trust, family, and relationships.

This program will

  • jolt you out of the romantic coma we’ve all been raised with, and which is at the source of so much confusion and suffering in relationships
  • wake you up to some truths about reality outside of traditional relationship structures, free your loved ones from needing to validate your sense of worth, and learn that “happily ever after” is an inside job
  • help you unlearn what you think you know about love and the purpose of relationships, learn to source love within, and view relationships as laboratories for your personal growth.