Come back to your senses
Understanding, Unlearning, Becoming – Galina Singer Weekly Journal #4
I am here to change the culture. Starting with myself.
The depth of conditioning, the multigenerational weight of disempowerment – it’s so deep, so weaved into my being.
No matter how much I’ve already cleared – every day I catch myself slithering into a victim, wanting to blame and make someone else responsible for my feelings, my life.
The attachment to gender roles, to the way things “should” be – I drank them in with my mother’s milk.
I drank in the victimhood of my traumatized ancestors and it became mine.
It requires endless vigilance to notice and to choose a different thought, a different way of being.
To remember that I am limitless.
That life is miraculous and abundant.
That I am a powerful and resourceful magician.
I allow myself to live differently.
I am here to change the culture.
Starting with myself.
Through each of our transformations, we create undeniable energetic shifts that ripple out into the world.
As children, we had our needs for love and attention filled by other people, the caregivers in our lives. Since then, we have held on to this idea that love is something we get from others.
What our codependent parents did not model to us and what we never learned from Disney movies is that love is an internal process. It does not come from the outside, and we do not have to sacrifice ourselves to get it.
Depending on our attachment history—how well and consistently our caregivers were able to respond to our needs—we seek for love to be delivered in a particular way. Through further cultural imprint, we learn that love is received and given via various love languages, which we must know and master.
The misconception that love gets delivered to us by others is at the root of much of our suffering.
Love is fully self-sourced. And it is our responsibility to cultivate it from within.
Learning to receive
When we are closed off in self-protective woundedness – we are not open to receive.
We are not open to being informed – penetrated energetically – by another person.
Because in the past when we were vulnerable and opened up and had received from another – pleasure, information, meaningful experiences – and they did not stay forever, we consider that failed relationship.
Because it feels failed, we tie our self-worth into it, something about us not being good enough for them to stay (forever) and then ensure that no one ever penetrates us again.
It’s a sign of trauma.
And it keeps us from engaging with life and people fully.
Learning to receive.
Why do I say fake belonging?
Because we do not truly belong if we need to twist ourselves into a pretzel or pretend in order to be accepted.
It starts in our families, of course. Not belonging in our families is highly uncomfortable, because as children our whole survival depended on our sense of belonging.
Except to belong even in a family has become conditional on so much, that most of us never get that sense of safety to be ourselves.
So we control and shape-shift and hide our true nature in order to belong.
But it is fake belonging. Because we belong in a mask. And we’ll forever fear to remove the mask and risk losing “the family.”
Meeting ourselves beyond masks, and fully accepting all that we are is the only path to true belonging.
Instead, can we allow people to be who they are and to self-express spontaneously and freely?
Can we learn to open up in order to receive love as it is offered, in the moment, and feel grateful?
A love offered by the person in the moment, following the expansive inner impulse – isn’t that most precious anyway?
For a long time, I was dissatisfied, because I felt I wasn’t loved the way I needed to be loved. Then I tried opening up to and noticing the love that was already on offer.
That changed everything.
How to get out of the invasive thoughts cycle: come back to your senses.
This was a live I posted last week in my FB group dedicated to sharing information on how we can retrain ourselves to stay in the present moment through embodiment practices.
The group is called “From Trauma to Triumph – The Journey Back to Embodiment” and I invite you to join.
Trauma is a disorder of not being in the present moment.
When we understand our own signs of trauma, we can take steps to heal it, so we can be present for life and our relationships in the Now, and not pass it on to our children.
The present moment is all we have.
You are the main character in your life story.
Everyone else—partners, children, bosses, siblings, and friends—is the supporting cast.
I will show you how to make decisions from this new vision of your reality.
You will learn that when we love and take care of ourselves so well that our inner light starts to shine brightly, all the people in our life story get to bask in it.
Your relationships begin with you.