There isn’t a single formula for life

Weekly Journal November 8 2021, Magda Gradowa

Integrity means wholeness.

Whenever we are out of integrity by not keeping our promises to ourselves (or others), we create an energy leak.

It means that our attention, through feelings of guilt, remorse or rationalization, is now dispersed away from our goals and dreams.

The reverse is also true: whenever we keep our word to ourselves and act from integrity, we focus our energy and attention on our dreams and send a powerful and coherent message of our co-creative intentions.

Learning to say ‘yes’ to opportunities we say we want.

Learning to say ‘yes’ to inner nudges and not override them through logical and rational objections.

Learning to say ‘yes’ to your dreams instead of abandoning them by default of “I cannot afford it.”

Learning to say ‘yes’ to your life, no matter how far away from a dream life it may seem right now.

When we can remain present for our lives – rather than escape or run away – we learn that everything is here to wake us up.

Our life is happening for us, not to us.

No one can love us for who we really are

Several years ago I felt unseen and misunderstood in my relationship.

I blamed him for it.

I still thought then that it was his fault for not seeing me.
I thought it was due to his lack of presence, his inattention.
I felt neglected.

Then I wrote an article about my experience as a woman and a mother, which became a personal milestone for me.

I read it to my husband.
I cried while I was reading it to him.
After I finished, he was silent for a while.
He then expressed amazement at the degree to which I have dared to open myself.
Throughout the day he would return to say something to me that reflected how profoundly moved he was by what he heard, by what he learned, by what he saw, by what I’ve shared.

It was then that I understood that we can only be seen or known by the other to the extent that we show, reveal ourselves.

No one can love us for who we really are if all we show them is who we pretend we are – if all we show them is our masks.

One of the most important things I have learned on my journey is that the purpose of relationships is not to make us happy. It is for us to learn and understand who we are.

All the drama we live through in relationships – the thrashing about, the ups and downs, the disappointments and crashed illusions, the reacting, the blaming, the leaving – it is never about the other person. It is all about ourselves, living through our projections, illusions, expectations, conditioning and limiting beliefs.

Through all that suffering we begin to know ourselves.

There isn’t a single formula for life.

I remember the day when this picture was taken.

July 2007.

We were traveling with a group of friends in the middle of nowhere on lake Baikal in Siberia.

The wildness of nature, the abundance of greenery and water and sky and air and food and drink, the extreme simplicity of living arrangements, lots of fun for my inner child from physical activities like building a raft out of logs so we could cross a river, kayaking and drinking the fresh water right out of the lake, that and being so far away from anything that was my life then – allowed me to connect to something at once within me and bigger than me.

In the moment that this picture was taken, I was perfectly happy.

I was in the present moment and nothing else existed besides this.

Life was going according to plan then. A plan of what life should look like. 3 little girls were safely waiting at home for us with trusted people who were taking care of them in our absence.

In the years that came after – life veered dramatically off course. A card was removed from our house of cards and the whole structure collapsed.

I couldn’t handle seeing the rubble.
I did not want this story any more.
“I did not sign up for this!” was repeating in my mind.

I rejected my life. And everyone in it.

The last eight years were me returning home to myself and through that process – back to my life.

There isn’t a single formula for life.
None of it is success or failure.
It is just experiences.
And to feel truly alive we need the whole range.

The world we are preparing our children for is over!

How have I changed since I had my six sessions with Galina?

I have changed in so many aspects that it is difficult for me to put them into words.
The most significant aspect is the change in my assertiveness and in expressing myself.
I used to be a spectator of my life: my energy turns inwards and sometimes can be taken as
a sign of passivity. Which for sure some times in the past happened. To be drowned was
easier than taking steps or my responsibilities. I would blame myself afterward, for not
having the courage to manifest my thoughts or opinions.

Now I take responsibility, I can express in a nonviolent way my meanings and most
importantly, I am an observer of myself and my process.

In the past I would just swim into my emotions, I would feel wrong for feeling in that or this
way, I would feel like I don’t belong and wouldn’t feel understood.

Through Galina’s coaching to reparent myself, of being my own authority, once I have a low
moment, it takes very little effort to recognize the pattern, to see where it comes from and my
response to it. I learned to not judge it and to feel without being lost in it.

In my relationships with others, I can be really present and manifest in my authenticity. I
don’t feel anymore like I need to play a part in order to be accepted: my conversations with
my friends have become deeper, a stronger connection has developed, I can feel and create
a safe space with them and manifesting as I am. In the past I was the listener, now I am
actively participating in the conversation. Some friendships have grown stronger and some
new connections have been created.

Once I discovered my true nature, it became impossible to stand in situations or
environments where my values are not met: in the past I would stay and swallow bad
feelings until my body would become ill. Now I can proudly set my boundaries and not see
them as being selfish.

I wish all of us could experience being our own most important authority, and I will gladly
recommend Galina for those who are ready to start the process and welcome magic in



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