The Benefits of Getting Naked in Public
Yesterday was a 7-year anniversary of my coming out naked publically. 😜
On May 29, 2016 I published my first article.
This was not a part of a grand strategy. It felt more like a fight to survive.
I was turning 50 years old that year.
I refused to accept what women around me were saying – that after 50 it’s over – as my truth.
I felt guided by the urgency of another truth that was begging to be liberated.
I had something else to say. And I allowed myself to speak outloud.
I often think about our need to be seen. Many of us struggle when we do not feel seen in our relationships. There’s a tendency to blame our relationship partners for that. I know I did.
What I’ve learned over these last 7 years of showing up naked in public is that to be seen – we need to be ready to show ourselves.
And to reveal ourselves to others means we have to first see and accept ourselves.
And that takes a lot of unlearning.
My dominant inner voice used to be hyper-critical and dismissive. Unconsciously, I was projecting it outside, expecting criticism and rejection to come from others.
It never felt Safe to Be Me when I censored myself to please others.
I found Safety to Be Me within, when my need to speak my truth became greater than fear of rejection.
This process is not straightforward. It’s a dance.
Cultivating safety from within means taking courageous steps into the unknown, and it also sometimes means taking time to hide in familiar smallness. With each step toward visibility – as I was stretching the comfort level of my nervous system – I was finding evidence that there was no real danger out there. The whole conversation happens mostly within.
Cultivating inner safety took learning to live in harmony with my many inner voices and needs, equally respecting the need to speak and be heard and seen, and the need to hide and be quiet.
It takes patience and gentleness.
It takes compassion and lots of re-parenting.
Daring to reveal myself to others transformed my relationship with my husband, with my children, with my life.
7 years ago I took a courageous step toward being seen, first of many.
Finding safety in being visible was not natural to me. But as I let go of the trapeze of safety of remaining in the known, and dove into the unknown – I saw life’s invisible safety net. It was always there. But I only saw it when I dared to take the leap.
Today I know that that first published article became the first step into building my body of work that I now call “Safe to Be Me” – my 6-month signature online program.
Do you wish to be seen?
Then get ready to show yourself!