I wanted to run away from my husband on numerous occasions
I believe there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for relationships.
This theme came up during the Masterclass on Tuesday.
Some say staying together is better than separating. I disagree. As many of us in long-term relationships know, longevity is not a measure of success in a relationship.
Does that mean separating is better than staying together? No, I don’t think that is true either.
I believe that we each make decisions about our relationships according to our values and needs. Relationships don’t come with a guarantee about the future. Contrary to some popular myths, relationships are not meant for happily-ever-after.
I personally view relationships as laboratories for growth. The problem is that growth is uncomfortable.
In a polarized society where “cancel culture” runs rampant, it’s become “the norm” to block anything or anyone that causes us even the mildest discomfort.
And I wanted to run away from my husband on numerous occasions in our 32 years together. I blamed him for all the ways my life was not fitting into the figment of my imagination.
Seems so crazy now – the way we assign responsibility for how we feel to other people.
That is what’s so confusing in the way we’ve been conditioned: we expect other people to “make us feel” a certain way. We crave a feeling that would quench all our childhood longing. Our human partners often fail to deliver the magic ingredient that we can only find within.
After more than half our lives together, I am learning to love my husband. I am not interested in “fixing” my marriage. The outside structure is less important than the feeling of safety, freedom and love I want to experience in my life.
And that – whether you are in or out of a relationship – is an inside job.
We cannot feel Safe to Be Me until we understand why we don’t feel safe. We cannot feel loved, until we open up to it. We cannot form authentic relationships until we accept the whole truth of who we are, and become willing to reveal that to another.
I’m interested in building real relationships.
Untethered to old expectations and pressures, the future is undecided and we co-create it through daily choices.
We are free to devise our own formula for happiness and create relationships that support us in discovering more of who we are.
Feeling trapped doesn’t come from the outside. We are only limited by our beliefs and the way they are coded in our nervous system.
In my program Safe to Be Me we work on unlearning old ideas we’ve inherited, complete our emotional development, and heal childhood patterns that are keeping us stuck in the past.
This is how we become a self-aware adult who knows how to source safety, love, trust from within, and form deep and intimate connections through unfiltered self-expression.
We can be in a relationship and not get married.
We can be married and not live together.
We can love each other and decide not to pursue a relationship.
We can want to marry and decide not to have children.
We can decide to live together and not be in a romantic relationship.
Basically, we can do whatever we want.
Let each one of us determine what happiness in a relationship means to us.
PS: If our thinking minds held the golden key to our evolution, we’d all have arrived where we’re going by now. The real treasure lies deeper. It’s stored in the body, the nervous system, and the subconscious.
Safe to Be Me is the map I created to help you unlock it, but everyone’s journey is different.
My upcoming group coaching program (starting June 13) is now open for enrolment.
I offer $500 off if you sign up before May 31.
For more details on the program please go here.
To meet me for a free chat about the program schedule here.
Read testimonials from past participants here.