Love, Peace, Happiness, Safety are Impossible without This
Love, peace, happiness, safety…
It took me years to understand that the feelings we crave—represented by these loaded words—cannot be delivered from anyone outside of ourselves.
These states – of being in love, in trust, in safety – are a product of our internal, psycho-emotional state.
Contrary to popular belief, our access to these states has little to do with our partners and life circumstances, and everything to do with the state of our own nervous system.
As a young woman, I believed that love was something we get from other people—special people with specific qualities—who fall in love with us and make us feel good.
I did the expected thing: got married to the man I loved, had children, devoted myself to my family and sacrificed my own needs.
Believing we get love from outside, I was prepared to work for it. I focused all of my energy on fulfilling the needs of the people I loved most, expecting to feel nourished and fulfilled by my sacrifice.
But the truth is, I just lost myself.
Over the years, I became more and more diminished, insignificant, drained…until I disappeared altogether. I felt unseen, unheard, taken for granted.
I blamed my husband for my unhappiness, for no longer supplying the emotional sustenance I needed. I judged myself for marrying him. I felt duped by the whole concept of family: I sacrificed as a “good girl” that I was, but what I was “getting” was worry instead of peace, resentment instead of love, insecurity instead of safety.
I realized only recently that a lot of my unhappiness came from completely unrealistic expectations about where love and emotional nourishment come from.
This realization was the beginning of a long and painful awakening.
What I went through in the last 10 years transformed my relationship with everyone in my life, especially with my own wellbeing.
And out of the depths of my death and rebirth the meaning of my life’s work was born.
Once I dropped my unrealistic expectations about love, I also had to work on completing my emotional development and bring my emotional age closer to my biological one. I had to heal my attachment wounds and remember what has me come alive. Most importantly, I found safety and nourishment within, so I could open to receive. Love rushed in from everywhere and in inexplicable ways, exquisite in its generosity, miraculous in its timing…
Each of us has the capacity to experience this kind of love.
Safe to Be Me, my group coaching program, is a condensation of 10 years of my own search of fulfilment and the wisdom that came out of it. It will empower you to connect to your love, your peace, your safety. You’ll stop begging for love, and learn to overflow with love. Everything else shifts from that.