It’s Not your Partner, it’s your Nervous System

Healing May 17 2023, Galina Singer

The state of your relationship has more to do with the state of your nervous system than with your partner.

The way we are used to relate to others is from attributing our feelings to the person with whom we are relating. If we feel good in their presence, we make it about them. If we feel hurt by something they said or did, we explain our state by making it about them as well.

Conventional relationship advice is focused on how to influence our partners to behave in ways that’ll make us feel loved.

In my experience – personally and professionally – we will not feel loved if we are not open to receiving love.

That’s right! I have observed myself unable to feel loved even when hearing “I love you” from the person I dreamed of. All because his words weren’t attached to other promises, and I felt unsafe to let the love in. But I wasn’t consciously aware of that process then.

The only way we can feel love(d) is by regulating our nervous system. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck in our frustration and resentment loops, boarded up and mistrustful.

Did you know that nit-picking is a symptom of dysregulated nervous system? Yes, it’s your nervous system in a state of Fight. So is anger, resentment and frustration. Worry and urge to flee is your Flight. Helplessness and shame: Freeze. Caretaking and over-responsibility is Fawn.

It took me years to understand that the reason for my unhappiness in my marriage had less to do with my partner and everything to do with my own dysregulated nervous system.

Now I guide people in solving their relationship challenges by helping them return home to themselves. And that means befriending and understanding how our body mind operates, taking back our power and finding safety within.

I’m inspired to offer a Free Masterclass on the subject:

and 3 solutions to Break the Cycle

Please join me on Tuesday May 23 at 12:30pm EST over zoom.

During This FREE MASTERCLASS You Will:
* Learn what it means to be in Secure Attachment and See the Gifts in both Anxious and Avoidant tendencies.
* Get Tools how to Regulate your Nervous system, and Find Safety within.
* Witness your inner Reactions and learn to Process them, so you stop Blaming and Projecting on your Partner.
* Master the Secrets of Subtle Choreography of Dancing as a Team.

Please register here.